I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
