did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
