i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
