I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
