the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
