He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
