I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I have demons in me.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
