OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Vodka?
Forever.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
