just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
