Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
