apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
