Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
