it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
