Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
