I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize