Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
