She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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