I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
How naked do you want me to be?
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