i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
