You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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