i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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