oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
