i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
