question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
