the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
