i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We're too hungover to prance.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
