Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
