batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
