apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
