Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
