Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
