Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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