what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
