remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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