i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So many bounce houses so little time
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
