Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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