i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
