It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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