threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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