I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
