I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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