He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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