you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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