I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
