Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
