Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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