I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
So squirting runs in the family.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
