A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
This house was built for laser tag.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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