it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
