Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
